You're A Tool, Joe Girardi!

For years I've heard from many Yankees fans that want to see the team replace Joe Girardi, and for just as long I've defended the guy.

Joe does not hit the ball, does not throw the ball, and does not catch the ball. Girardi did not offer the extension to CC Sabathia after the 2011 season*, he did not sign Chase Headley, nor did he sign Jacoby Ellsbury through at least 2020. For the most part Joe Girardi takes what he's given, and he tries to make a winner out of it.

*Just thought I'd remind everybody that if CC didn't sign that extension or opt-out of his original contract with the Yankees, he'd probably be pitching for somebody else today.

If you don't think Girardi's job as the Yankees' manager since 2007 has been tougher than Joe Torre's was from 1996 to 2007 you're crazy. Yet Torre was a God to Yankees fans, while Girardi... for the most part... is a pariah.

But at least for the time being I'm not going to defend Joe. Not because I don't think he's unfairly criticized, but because when asked what he thought of Dee Gordon being suspended for a positive PED test, Girardi said it's because he and other users are "ultra-competive".

No... wrong... uh-uh.

Watching more game tape to try and find flaws in your swing, or ways to bat against certain pitchers is being competitive. Taking extra swings in batting practice is being competitive. Showing up to practice or Spring Training early to get more work is being competitive. Taking a performance enhancing drug is cheating.

Whether the player is taking the drug to get stronger or quicker, or taking the drug to recover faster from injury, it's still cheating.

This isn't to say I don't understand why a professional athlete, regardless of the sport, would take a PED. With that much money at stake I totally get it. I don't like it, but I get it. And heck, even if it's not for the money, I understand wanting to get back on the field/court as soon as possible. But that player is still cheating.

Dee Gordon is a very talented baseball player, and I'm willing to bet he didn't need to take anything to be successful at the pro level. Just like Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Roger Clemens, and so many others didn't need to take something to succeed. But he did, and for that Dee Gordon is a cheater.

Stop giving these guys excuses! Especially an excuse that makes it sound like Dee Gordon and other PED users/cheaters are just "ultra competitive". Just... stop.

You're A Tool, Jenrry Mejia

When I first read that Jenrry Mejia was accusing Major League Baseball of a witch hunt, that resulted in him being banned from the league due to failing a third drug test, I laughed. The guy failed the test three times, and the league's policy is clear that a third failed test would result in being banned from the league.

Even if he wasn't in a Mets uniform, I'd still say he looks like a tool.

It turns out that Mejia claimed that the second failed test was inaccurate, which I again found laughable. Whenever you see something that people fail at, you'll hear any and all excuses as to why they failed. It's not because that person simply isn't good at that particular test.

My kid didn't fail his math test because he didn't study. No, my kid failed that math test because the teacher is a Red Sox fan, and my son and I are Yankees fans*.*This is not a true story. I do not have a son, and Red Sox fans are not smart enough to be teachers.

Then I came to the part of the story that I found plausible, and for a second made me feel bad for Jenrry. Allegedly, somebody in MLB told him that if he appealed the second failed test they would find a third failed test and kick him out of the league. So, naturally, Mejia didn't appeal the test for fear of being banned.

But don't worry, that feeling of empathy faded very quickly. For three reasons...

First of all, Jenrry Mejia went on to fail a third test. It didn't go down like Mejia said, where somebody in MLB dug up a third failed test out of nowhere. At least, Jenrry didn't accuse them of doing that, which... to me... is basically an admission that he failed that third test.

Secondly. Mejia never said the first failed test was either inaccurate or dug up out of nowhere by MLB. Why else would he say the second test was shady, but not say the same thing about the first and third?

And finally there were these quotes...

“I felt there was a conspiracy against me. I feel that they were trying to find something to bring me down in my career,” Mejia told Ben Berkon of the New York Times.

“The association should have done more,” Mejia went on to say to Berkon. “[The union] should have been there to defend me—because that’s what they’re there for. They should have found something to appeal for.”

A conspiracy against Jenrry Mejia? Really? We're not talking about a guy like Barry Bonds, who spent many years tearing up Major League Baseball and its record book, and was one of the biggest faces in the battle between Major League Baseball and PEDs. Not even close. Mejia only threw 183.1 innings in MLB, and was only above average in the 27.1 innings he tossed in 2013. His saves total of 28 in 2014 was nice, but a 3.65 ERA and 1.484 WHIP are not.

If MLB was going to conspire against somebody, I imagine it would be against somebody a little more high profile than Jenrry Mejia.

And then there's that second quote, where Jenrry doesn't say the Union failed to stick up for him due to his accusations of a conspiracy. Apparently, worker unions aren't there to fight for workers' rights. No. Worker unions, like the MLB Player's Association, are there to find a way to get guilty men off the hook.

Well that's too bad, Jenrry. The MLBPA has more important things to do, and for innocent players in the league, than spend their time trying to figure out a way to get you and your dumbass off the hook for failing not one drug test, not two drug tests, but three drug tests.

Good riddance to idiots like Jenrry.

You're A Tool, David Price!

"I think I was just saving all my postseason wins for the Red Sox."

-David Price

First, this is for the Tampa Rays fans, who must be incredibly ticked off at David. In four starts for the Rays during the postseason, Price was 0-4, and gave up 17 earned runs. In fact, his only postseason win for Tampa came in a relief role back in 2008 against the Red Sox.

So what about Detroit Tigers' fans? Well, I have a hard time feeling too bad for them, seeing as how Price threw eight innings in his only postseason start for them, giving up just two runs in a loss to the Orioles. It still sucks for any fan to hear a former player say something like that, but in this case I'm not quite so sorry.

That brings us to Toronto Blue Jays fans. I have no love for the Jays, or more specifically their fans, but Price's words had to sting quite a bit. In David's three starts this past postseason for Toronto, he was 0-2 (that lone win coming in another relief performance), and gave up 13 earned runs. Not only that, but Price allowed the Rangers to score three more runs in a three-inning relief effort. While they still have some bullets left in the chamber, the Blue Jays nearly mortgaged their future in order to get David Price at the trade deadline, only for him to throw like a bottom of the rotation starter. And then Price had the audacity to verbally spit in the face of ever Jays fan.

Note: I can't say how often I'm going to do these posts, but I plan on calling out more tools in the future.