The Free Agency Royal Rumble Returns – Relief Pitchers

The New York Yankees quest for the ultimate “Super Bullpen” will continue in 2016 with the presumed returns of Andrew Miller, Dellin Betances, Justin Wilson, Chasen Shreve and Adam Warren but could the Yankees add one more piece to the puzzle? Possibly two? For the four competitors in tonight’s Free Agency Royal Rumble you better hope so or all this will have been for nothing.

Entering the ring first is the favorite, former Baltimore Orioles right-handed pitcher Darren O’Day. O’Day would kill two or three birds with one stone, pun intended, as it would piss off Buck Showalter, which is always fun, while also making the Yankees better and the Orioles inherently worse. Opposing O’Day is Ryan Madson of the Kansas City Royals who is rebuilding his value after finally making it all the way back from Tommy John surgery and the final two competitors in tonight’s rumble, or more like a battle royal to be completely honest, are Tyler Clippard and Joakim Soria.

Both Clippard and Soria are former closers who wouldn’t mind having the closing role back, for obvious financial advantages, and decide to work together in trying to get out of the ring. Neither Clippard nor Soria want the job or the pressure of pitching in New York and put up relatively no fight to Madson who hits them both with his American League Championship ring. And then there were two…

Madson stands tall in front of O’Day but the side-throwing right-hander catches Madson off guard and socks him back to the rope. Madson, now 36-years old, cannot keep the younger and more energetic O’Day off him long enough to stage a comeback and eventually finds himself over the top rope and onto the floor eliminated from the competition.

No opposing team, and I mean no opposing team, in Major League Baseball wants to see this bullpen. Not even on their worst day. Miller, Betances, O’Day, Wilson, Shreve, Warren. Lights out, game over and start spreading the news.

The Free Agency Royal Rumble Returns – Outfielders

The New York Yankees earned the ultimate gift and the ultimate curse all wrapped up in one player in 2015 and his name was Alex Rodriguez. This isn’t meant to be negative or condescending by any means, I was defending and asking for forgiveness for Alex before Bald Vinny made money off of it made it cool, but him being effective and a huge part of the offense makes the team’s options rather limited. At this point in his career Carlos Beltran should be at least a part-time DH, if not a full-time DH, but is forced to play the field due to Rodriguez being on the roster. With Rodriguez at DH, Jacoby Ellsbury and Brett Gardner patrolling center field and left field respectively and Chris Young hitting free agency it looks like the Free Agency Royal Rumble will be a free-for-all for the final roster spot on the Yankees bench in 2016.

Entering the ring for the rumble are a few competitors that I think will at least be in the running for the position. The up and coming superstar Aaron Judge, former Yankees player and current Baltimore Orioles first baseman and outfielder Steve Pearce, Marlon Byrd of the Cincinnati Reds and the San Francisco Giants in 2015, Drew Stubbs and another former Yankees farm hand and current Chicago Cub, Austin Jackson.

Before the match begins Marlon Byrd asks for a microphone and was quoted as saying the following:

“Now I know that if I win this Royal Rumble and I come to New York my playing time will be limited and dictated by injuries, I’m not okay with that. Also I have read numerous times that a fake Jon Heyman Twitter account faked out Daniel Burch at the trading deadline in 2014 forcing Mr. Burch to write over 2,000 words about me and welcoming me to the team only for me to go elsewhere. With all that said I think I’m going to forfeit, just not feeling it today. Thanks though. “

With Byrd out the group of remaining competitors, like they often do in these Royal Rumble’s, gang up on the biggest man in the ring, Aaron Judge. Judge is quickly disposed of and thrown over the top rope to the mat leaving Pearce, Stubbs and Jackson. Pearce, being the multi-faceted player that he is, reminds everyone that he is pennant chase, playoff and American League East tested not only in the outfield but at first base (hello Mark Teixeira insurance policy) and uses that to throw both Jackson and Stubbs over the top rope and to the floor. Stubbs would have been nice, he kills lefties but his right-handed splits aren’t much to write home about, and so would Jackson, another outfielder with the ability to play center field allowing a constant rotation to keep everyone fresh and healthy, but Pearce makes too much sense for the Yankees NOT to sign in my opinion. 

The Free Agency Royal Rumble Returns – Infielders

For the first time in Free Agency Royal Rumble history an incumbent member of the New York Yankees will have his job on the line as both Dustin Ackley and Robert Refsnyder will be in the rumble. Joining Refsynder and Ackley in the rumble will be the Kansas City Royals second baseman Ben Zobrist, the Los Angeles Dodgers second basemen Chase Utley and Howie Kendrick and the incumbent Yankees second baseman, Mr. Stephen Drew.

Howie Kendrick was taken out and backstabbed almost immediately by Chase Utley on an errant slide into the ropes leaving the field at five. Utley hurt himself on the slide, he is 37-years old after all, and was easily eliminated by Stephen Drew who was stat padding his stats in garbage time leaving the field at four. Ben Zobrist felt excited looking at the field remaining, especially considering he is not linked to draft pick compensation but the Yankees threesome quickly took advantage of his head in the clouds, and bulky contract that in my opinion he will never live up to at 35-years old and after all the hype he received in Oakland, and eliminated him.

In a shocking turn of events the Yankees Three, that’s what they are now calling themselves, left the ring hand-in-hand-in-hand leaving the Yankees with all three of them for the 2016 season. According to reports, reports I am making up for the purpose of this post and for fun, Drew will ride the bench and be the backup to Didi Gregorius and Chase Headley while both Ackley and Refsnyder will platoon at second base. When Refsnyder is at second Ackley will relieve one of the corner outfielders, especially Brett Gardner, to keep them fresh and prevent another second half letdown.

The Free Agency Royal Rumble Returns – Starting Pitching

Last year around this time the blog was in full offseason mode with our eyes, as writers, on the 2015 season. The World Series was over and all 30 MLB teams were making their shopping lists and checking it twice for the winter so I thought this year we would do the same with the return of the Free Agency Royal Rumble. This is a bit of a play on the popular WWE PPV, the Royal Rumble, as we pit all the potential starting pitching targets for the New York Yankees and see which one wins the rumble (and is most likely to sign with the club).

The participants in the 2015 Free Agency Royal Rumble for starting pitchers are David Price, Johnny Cueto, Mike Leake, Jordan Zimmerman, Zack Greinke and Wei-Yin Chen. Men, take your positions the rumble is about to begin.

Immediately the group begins to wrestle and Zack Greinke, feeling his anxiety kick up and wondering what it would be like being booed off the Yankee Stadium field like the team was during the AL Wild Card Game, throws himself over the top rope and eliminates himself from the competition. The rest of the competitors take this opportunity to work together while they still can to get David Price up and over the top rope before his $30 million expected AAV on the wrong side of 30-years old and his postseason demons and monkey’s on his back make it impossible to take him out. Four remain.

Johnny Cueto walks up to Jordan Zimmerman and takes a peak at the contract he is said to be asking for that will undoubtedly set the market and wants to mimic Zimmerman’s demands with his own. Zimmerman catches Cueto peaking and reminds him of his numbers after switching to the American League and his postseason numbers as he throws him over the top rope to eliminate him. While this is happening Mike Leake, the opportunist, is also sneaking a peak at Zimmerman’s proposed contract demands and gets offended that he won’t make that for the rest of his career, let alone in one contract, and throws Zimmerman over the top rope while he is distracted leaving just two contestants remaining.

Mike Leake and Wei-Yin Chen. Leake has been active, eliminating Zimmerman, but Chen has quietly been sitting back resting and waiting for the opportunity. Chen is an ace in the making but is never mentioned alongside the other aces in this market and that has visibly angered him. Chen rushes at Leake intending to take out his frustrations on the former Cincinnati Reds and San Francisco Giants right-hander and knocks him over the rope and to the floor. The problem is his momentum also carries himself over the rope and to the floor leaving no clear cut winner for the Yankees.

Chen is probably the best suited for the Yankees because he won’t command an astronomical contract in terms of years and dollars despite being American League East tested and Leake is the most likely for the same reasons, just on a lesser scale than Chen. With the Yankees already having a ton of depth, although no defined ace as we stand today, it seems unlikely that either are signed, or anyone in this field for that matter. The Yankees may take this rumble as a sign to stand pat here this winter.