What are the New York Yankees Getting for Christmas This Year?

It’s almost that time, Christmas week has finally arrived. Have you been good or are you going to get coal in your stockings this year? To take it one step further what are the New York Yankees asking from Santa this Christmas season? I asked them just that question and here are their (fictional) answers:

Joe Girardi:

“I’m just asking for the health of my pitching staff and good seasons from Gardy, Birdy, Alex, Refy, Mac, Louie, Evo and Lindy.”

Alex Rodriguez:

“I’m just blessed to be here another season and I want to thank the Steinbrenner family, the New York Yankees organization, Randy Levine, the Yankees fans and family for the opportunity. I’m truly humbled, blessed and rich so I don’t have to ask Santa Clause for anything, I’m an independent woman.”

Robert Refsnyder:

*just stares at me in disgust and refuses to answer*

Chase Headley:

“The Chuck Knoblauch book on how to throw to first base. No really, I’m kidding. Please don’t bring me that, I’m inside my own head enough. Maybe a puppy?”

Mark Teixeira:

“A full and healthy season. Finally. It’s my contract year and Greg Bird’s eyebrows scare me.”

Greg Bird:

“For someone to step on a crack and break Mark Teixeira’s back… maybe? He needs a day”

Stephen Drew:

“Please sign me!”

Hal Steinbrenner:

“For people to stop calling the man writing the $200+ million check every single season cheap!”

Brian Cashman:

“He’s not cheap my ass. But for real though, just let me know when you’re recording because I’ve got this great politically correct line my grandfather always used to tell me growing up.”

Hank Steinbrenner:

“A carton of Newports and something to eat.”

Merry Christmas everyone and to those who don’t celebrate Christmas, Happy Holidays to you as well.