Sunday, November 3, 2013

Gawker Covers The World Series

Being posted as a part of Syndicated Sunday from

Fuck Boston

Last night, for the first time in 95 years, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series at home in Fenway Park. Fuck the city of Boston, in general.
Boston is not a good city.
Fuck the Boston Red Sox. Fuck your dirty beards. Fuck your scrappy-band-of-sailors persona. Fuck your iconic little ballpark. Fuck the big green wall in your outfield. Fuck the people wearing Red Sox hats, particularly pink ones. Fuck your undeserved underdog attitude. Fuck your celebrity fans. Fuck your regular fans. Fuck your riotous celebrations.
Fuck all of New England. But in particular, Boston.
Fuck your reputation as a center of learning. Fuck your colleges and universities. Fuck your swarms of students. Fuck the hyper-intellectuals, the frat boys, and everyone in between. Fuck MIT. You could have gone to Caltech, where it's sunny. You fools. Fuck Harvard. Fuck your cozy book stores. Fuck Cambridge. Fuck the bridge you have to cross to get there. Fuck rowing in the Charles. Fuck that as a pastime. Get a better pastime, jerks.
Fuck Boston (the band).
That was a long time ago. Get over it.Fuck your regional food specialties. Fuck your tendency to claim all of Irish immigrant culture as your own. Fuckmovies set in your small regional city. Fuck your accent. Fuck the Puritans. Fuck Samuel Adams. Fuck Paul Revere. Fuck the entirety of your celebrated colonial history.
Fuck the Big Dig. Dig it, already. I'm so sick of hearing about your stupid hole. Fuck your talk radio stations. Fuck Tom Brady. Fuck your bleak and desolate winters. Fuck the poor bastards in all of the surrounding states who are forced to rely on you as the only real urban center in close proximity. I feel for them. Fuck your museums. Fuck your bus station. Fuck your aquarium. I can't believe you imprison fish in such an awful town. Fuck your floating "Duck Tour" vehicles. What's wrong with driving on the road? Why do you have to drive in the water? Why are you always making things complicated?
Fuck Cheers.
I have some dear, dear friends from Boston. Great people. I love them. I would not want them to read this and get the wrong idea. It's important to me that I take a moment to make this point to them: Fuck Boston.
It's too cold there. Who needs it?
Boston people get mad when you say these things. If I said this in Boston, I would probably get my head beat in. Fuck your violent tendencies. That's mean. I'm a person too. Fuck your denial of my humanity. Other people in Boston try to over-intellectualize it. "You're not even giving any real reasons," they whine. "You're just saying 'fuck' things. You don't even make sense." Jesus, the whining. Always the whining and arguing, from Boston people. Can we have one conversation that doesn't have to be all about you? Fuck your self-centered inability to admit that your enemies are correct. Try seeing it from the perspective of the rest of the world, for once. Put yourself in our shoes. Now think about Boston. Come on. Seriously. Come on. Really. Come on. Boston. Really now. Boston?
Come on. Boston?


  1. may be the one, that must light a candle at church, after that Gawker article.
    Old fleet sailors, including myself, would say that article had plenty of ' salty ' language. It did.
    Trying to coral a good-guy poster named....John. Perfect fit for your site. He was roughed up by another
    at Yankee Fans Unite. If you see his name before I do....please reach out to him. Thanks.

  2. It did have a few too many f words for my liking but if you ignore that you get the point... and I liked it enough to share.

  3. the Gawker article was unfortunate.....silly...and immature. I'm surprised you reposted it.

  4. I'm sorry you guys didn't like it. It appealed to a ton of people on twitter and you guys want the twitter followers to post here.. so I took a chance.

    1. I don't think we need an apology from you Daniel, it is your site and it is a Tweet...not your writing.
      News is news! Anything outrageous about the Bsox is good news!

    2. Just trying to do what I can to get guys here with us to talk :)

  5. Daniel.... polls, controversial topics and blogs with open ended questions at the would think would increase commenting?

    1. I would think so, yes. We're working on it every day and will not stop or move on to something else until we get someone so I am not entirely worried just yet. We get new people all the time, it's just getting them to come back.

      I have a plan I just have not had the time to enact it yet... it may be time. I was waiting for the hot stove to heat up but it just may be time...

  6. One thing that will attract commenters will be the weekly essays from the great Irish Candleman . With him writing a blog regularly, your readership should double. As a novice at a young paper in downtown NY , no one thought with him editing , the paper could survive.......yet the Village Voice did quite well.


Sorry for the Capatcha... Blame the Russians :)