The Battle of Immortals.
My name is Bryan, and I'm a pro wrestling fan.
Phew. That felt great to get off of my chest. Now that I've admitted that I'm a pro wrestling fan, I feel like I can overcome that fact and go on to be somebody that can make a contribution to society. And I'm going to start doing that right now, by doing some fantasy booking and creating a Wrestlemania card involving members of the New York Yankees...
"Captain" Derek Jeter vs. "The" Mariano Rivera (C)
w/ special-guest referee Jorge "All Bat, No Glove" Posada
This won't be a fast-paced match, but their ring psychology is second to none, which could make this the best match on the card. People will be talking about this one for years to come.
World Heavyweight Championship
Robinson "The Natural" Cano vs. "C-dog" Curtis Granderson (C)
Last year Granderson was the top-dog, being the face of WWE. But "The Natural" is still young and has all the tools to become the new champion. Either man could carry WWE in the future.
United States Championship
"Hero" Hiroki Kuroda vs. Ivan "The Terrible" Nova (C)
Last year Ivan Nova bursted upon the scene and fought his way to the United States championship, but this year many people believe he'll take a step back while newcomer "Hero" Hiroki Kuroda takes the title from Ivan.
"Smiling" Nick Swisher vs. Mark "Tex" Teixeira (C)
Fans normally don't buy into the good guy that smiles all the time anymore, but Nick Swisher's charisma is too much. Although "Tex" isn't what he used to be as an all-around wrestler, he still has a ton of power that opponents can't overcome. Who can forget when Houston fans threw garbage at Mark, as they can't stand a guy that's not from Texas calling himself "Tex"?
Eduarda E. Nunez vs. "Easy" Erica Chavez vs. Alexis "The Tragedy" Rodriguez (C)
Fans have certainly expressed their dislike of Alexis over the years, and even though she's had her fair share of injuries over the years, Ms. Rodriguez could still break out and beat anybody that dare challenges her. So Alexis' opponents already have a tough task, nevermind the fact that Eduarda and Erica are already battling to be noticed in the Diva's division.
"The Platoon" Raul Ibanez & Andruw Jones (C) vs. "Bigger and Blacker" CC Sabathia & Michael Pineda
It's not unusual to see a new team take the WWE by storm and get the tag titles quickly, as "The Platoon" did nearly a month ago. There's no doubting the power of Raul and Andruw, but the team of "Bigger and Blacker" could run roughshod over the current title holders. It's really just a matter of Pineda perfecting one more move in his arsenal.
Last Man Standing Match
Freddy "The Junkman" Garcia vs. "Philthy" Phil Hughes
Neither man asked for this match, and expected to be elsewhere in WWE at this time, but the powers that be are forcing them to prove they have what it's worth to remain with WWE. Will the wiley veteran be able to out-smart the young kid trying to work his way back up the card?
Money In The Bank Match
"The Lightning Kid" Brett Gardner vs. Russell "The Back-Stop" Martin vs. "Wildman" David Robertson vs. Rafael "No Chance (I opt-out)" Soriano vs. Cory Wade vs. Francisco Cervelli vs. Boone "Lefty" Logan vs. Cesar Cabral
Each competitor in this match will be fighting for a chance to be a future champion in WWE. You have the exciting in-ring style of "The Lightning Kid", a man that could be a key player in WWE's future... Russell Martin, somebody with a huge left-hand in Mr. Logan, two guys that could be feuding real soon in "Wildman" and "No Chance", and three more guys that aren't worth the time it would take to come up with silly nicknames for. Expect some big spots in this one.
For the price of a ticket behind home plate at Yankee Stadium, you too can see all this action live at Madison Square Garden on April 3rd, 2012! But don't worry, because if you can't make it to the show in person you can catch the action on pay-per-view by calling your cable or satellite provider.
See you in about a month!