Thursday, April 12, 2012

Scouring Ebay for Yankee Memorabilia

I looked up at my Yankee memorbilia collection earlier and decided to go to ebay. Not only can you sometimes find some cool, unique, things there, but you can get them fairly cheap as well. But soon into my search I realized that ebay is full of some worthless junk as well. Don't get me wrong, I was not surprised by this at all. I mean, it's the internet after all. If it's not porn, then there's a good chance that what you come across on the world wide web is completely pointless crap. Just take a look at these items...

New York Yankees Fingernail Tattoos 5 Sets FREE SHIPPING!!
I saw a set of these earlier in my search, and decided to pass on writing about them. As silly as it seems to bother putting these things on, I'm pretty sure if I went to the home opener tomorrow night I'd see at least one annoying girl with these on. But what caught my eye was the fact that the first listing had them for 99 cents, while this set has a Buy It Now of $2.99. I don't care if it's "FREE SHIPPING!!" or not, if you're the type of woman that would take the time and energy to purchase these things on ebay, then I want nothing to do with you. Unless you're hot, of course. Barney Stinson said one should always give in to a hot chick.

NY Yankees Luggage Tag
I skipped by this at first too, but had to go back to it. I couldn't help but imagine a baggage handler, that hates the Yankees like so many people do, treating a bag with a Yankees luggage tag on it like I treat my toilet after feasting on some Taco Bell. Hell, baggage handlers already treat your bag like crap, why possibly give them a reason to make things worse? Of course, since you may not ever see the bag again anyway, then I guess it doesn't matter.

MLB baseball Pinheads lapel pin - Mike Piazza, New York Yankees - photo
I have nothing against Mike Piazza. He was the 1993 Rookie of the Year for the Dodgers, and finished in the top 10 of MVP voting in his first 5 seasons. He went on to have 2 more years finishing in the top 15 of MVP voting, as well as two other finishes of 7th and 3rd. Piazza was a great player, no doubt. But the thing that really ticks me off about this item is that not only did he never play for the Yankees, but this is of Mike's days with the Mets. And anybody that mixes up the Mets and the Yankees should suffer the most painful death possible.

Yankees Souvenir Opening Day Ball & Assorted Yanks Cards *LOOK*!!!!
I don't think you want me to look that hard at this, so the word "look" should neither be in all-caps, nor be followed by four exclamation points. I imagine that if you were trying to sell a set of baseball cards, you'd put the best one's on display to try and make people think the rest of the collection was as good. Now, the Lou Gehrig card is cool, but it goes downhill from there. In 7 seasons with the Yankees Rick Cerone hit .249/.297/.351, so I don't think anybody is going to get excited about his card. Lou Piniella was a good manager, and I have nothing against the guy, but in 417 games managing the Yankees he didn't exactly blow anybody away (winning percentage of .537, no playoff appearances). Jerry Rooster? Tom Brookens? A replica Opening Day ball? If this is the best this collection has to offer, your auction's $19.99 starting price is quite the rip-off.

Ching Ming Wang Trenton Thunder NY Yankees Baseball
*sigh* At least he didn't spell Wang's first name with a "k" at the end of it. Does it bother anybody else when somebody that is clearly not a Yankees fan is selling Yankee memorabilia? I mean, it's not like nikanya made this baseball. I'm sure it was sold at the Thunder sourvinir shop, and when the person that bought it realized that Chien-Ming Wang sucked, the person threw it out only for nikanya to find it and try and make a buck.

Oh, sorry. The bidding was started at 99 cents. Hell, even a non-Yankee fan knows that Wang isn't worth shelf space at a dollar store.

4 Yankees ROLLERZ A. Rod, Derek, Jeter Matsui, Giambi
Okay, let's start with the headline. "A. Rod"? Not a big deal, I guess. Sure, I don't think I've seen Alex's name written like that, but it's not a travesty of grammar. Unfortunately that's not the only grammar issue with the headline, as we come to "Derek". Not a problem at all, as Yankee fans don't need anything other than the first name to know exactly who it is referring to. When a person says they went to the childhood home of "Elvis", nobody is going to assume that person meant Elvis Andrus. So I kept looking and came to "Jeter". Seriously? Did the "Derek" part not make it clear?

Note: I was going to insert a "maybe he meant another Derek that played for the team" joke here, but after going to the Yankee history page I couldn't find another Yankee player named Derek... ever. Hell, there have been three guys with the first name "Babe", but not a single other Derek besides our current captain. Anyway...

Then, edsmagnets1, couldn't take the time and energy to put a comma between "Jeter" and "Matsui". And one final thing regarding this headline... Am I the only one that would be happier with this set if it didn't come with Giambi? *shrugs* I wasn't a fan of the guy.

I looked under the description, to see what the poster had to say about this item, and he says "Saw a Set [sic] of these at a Show [sic] For [yet another "sic"] $75.00". Wait... wait! This guy is trying to convince people these were on sale somewhere for $75, yet his Buy It Now price is $13.25. *cough*Bullshit*cough*

Oh yeah... what the hell is a "Rollerz" anyway?

I kind of went off on that last one, but it was by far the biggest issue I had in my search. I could have made this entry a lot longer, as all those items were found in the first 13 pages of a search that was 705 pages long. But I think I made my point. Besides, now you can go search yourself and tell me about some of the insane things you find.

By the way, my apologies if some links don't work. Chances are the action ended (I'd never mess up coding the links), but trust me... these things really do exist. They shouldn't exist, except for people like me to have something to write about on an off-day, but they do.