Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Quick Hit: Gift Ideas for David Ortiz’s Farewell Tour

David Ortiz of the Boston Red Sox is retiring after the 2016 season and despite the “rivalry” that goes on between Boston and the New York Yankees the organization is planning on honoring Ortiz later this season. Now Ortiz has asked to not be honored and has said that he doesn’t want a farewell tour, although if you don’t want a farewell tour you don’t announce your retirement a year in advance but I digress, but apparently that has fallen on deaf ears in the Bronx. The Red Sox have showed much class and respect to former Yankees being honored along the way including Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter so it’s only right that New York does the same for Ortiz. Hal Steinbrenner says he has no idea what the team is planning to do for Ortiz later on this season so me, being the helpful guy that I am, I have a few ideas for gifts for the old man.

First idea I had was a framed copy of the drug test he failed since so many people have conveniently forgotten about it or have chosen to ignore it. Maybe a framed copy of the Mitchell Report as well but only as a gag gift since he failed a test but wasn’t on the report that was conducted by a Boston senator.

Second idea I had was a substantial gift card to GNC. Remember his post in Derek Jeter’s Players Tribune where he wrote that he probably failed the test because of a substance “he got at GNC in the damn mall somewhere,” he’s got to be missing whatever that substance was. He has kids now and he is going to need all the energy he can get as he enters his 40’s and 50’s.

Third idea I had was a serious one, a substantial donation to an organization that helps young people and young players learn the game of baseball. Ortiz is well known for working with young people and young players not only on their life goals but their baseball goals as well. This is a fun post that is poking some fun at Ortiz but not enough is said about what he does off the field.

Enough of that praising Ortiz stuff though as we bring you the final idea for his farewell tour gift. You ever see those meme’s on Facebook and such that has the children dancing in the village saying that whichever team loses the Super Bowl, World Series or the 2004 ALCS that their championship shirts are shipped overseas and they should be there Monday? We’re going to give him the New York Yankees 2004 ALCS Champions shirt!

Full disclaimer. This is meant to be fun and it pokes at Oritz only in the name of the rivalry and in good-natured fun. I have a ton of respect for Ortiz and the Red Sox organization. Let’s leave it, and the hate, at that. 


  1. Burst out laughing at "first idea I had"

    1. Stick around Daryl, Daniel is a very talented writer...you'll have some fun!

    2. Glad you enjoyed Daryl. I try to throw some humor into my posts, especially in the offseason. Some times I throw some hidden humor with references that you have to get. I'm a clever MF'er hahaha


Sorry for the Capatcha... Blame the Russians :)