Today has really been Freaky Friday for the Yankees; Cano out, Beltran in. There's simply no room for Gardner on the outfield anymore; he deserves more than a backup spot for the years he's given the Yankees. You have Soriano, Ellsbury, Beltran, Vernon Wells (who'll probably get released) and (unfortunately) Ichiro. I love you Brett, but we may be saying goodbye very soon. You can either trade Gardner for Brandon Phillips (sorry Bryan and/or Daniel :) or, trade for a pitcher. Jason Rosenberg of "It's About the Money" just tweeted a good idea; Gardner for Doug Fister.
Here's a partially-satirical look at what the Yankees need to do get the rotation going.
1) They've already resigned Kuroda for $16 million, which I feel is grossly overpriced, unless you're getting pre-All Star Game Kuroda, you know, the ACE.
2) Please feed CC Sabathia. If the Yankees are going to empty their pockets this winter, why not buy a franchise for him? Maybe a McDonalds, or, if you want a healthier option, Subway (or another sub shop since I've heard bad things about Subway.) Haven't we learned from Babe Ruth how some players are better when they're fatter?
3) Restore Pineda's strength. This depends on what religion you follow. Even though I'm a Catholic, I was told God gave us free will; so in order to assure a full season from Pineda, may I suggest sacrificing a live chicken? Or, you can get a full KFC bucket like they did in Major League; Pedro Cerrano hit a clutch game-tying 7th inning home-run with that method!
4) Replace all 9s on the scoreboard as far as the innings go. In its place, put an 8. This way David Robertson will be more comfortable closing the game with two 8th innings.
5) Tell Joba there's a sack of money deep inside a cornfield; you won't have to worry about him anymore, he'll spend years looking for it.
'Till Next Time!
Neil Dwyer @neildwyer1993
P.S. Hopefully the Ellsbury signing works out, you don't want a 36-year-old in six years who can't hit and can't run the bases anymore.
Neil Dwyer....funny stuff. Please, allow me to tag on to your article.
ReplyDeleteBret Gardner, for Brandon Phillips ? I cringed. Don't lose a talent like Gardner, for a circling the drain
type of guy, like Phillips. He's done.
First time, in a long while, the name....Joba Chamberlain. Forgotten soul.
Kuroda...he was your ace last year. A fighter, pushed further than he should have been.
Neil, love your humor. Mine kind of parallels yours.
Come back again. Take care.
Lol I'm a regular columnist here, so I'll be back soon!
ReplyDeleteNeil Dwyer....sorry, I'm rather new here. Only trying to lend a hand.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to reading your work again. Our humor is similar. Could be dangerous.
Stay well.
Kuroda had to get a slight raise from last year so the $16 million, while maybe a little high, is right where it should be. What the Yankees need to do now is go get a Garza or a Tanaka (and not trade Gardner for a guy that was just traded to Washington) and make Kuroda a third or even a fourth starter and then you don't worry about the break down.
ReplyDeleteI literally LOL'd at buying CC a McDonalds. I don't know if it was more funny or true is why I laughed...
Any references to Major League, or A Christmas Story for that matter ;) , get an A+ in my book. Good work Neil.
If you wanna trade the Washington Nationals Gardner, which I don't, then it needs to be for Zimmerman at third base, not Fister. Just my thoughts.