Thursday, October 8, 2015

CC Sabathia & My Own Experience w/ Addiction

When news broke about CC Sabathia’s self-admission into an alcohol rehabilitation center I did not want to turn his disease into a post about me like many others likely did. What I did personally was I sent out a couple tweets to Amber and CC voicing my full 100% support, thoughts and prayers and I left it at that. I feel like enough time has gone by now that I can share with you my personal experience with addiction and why I fully and 100% not only support but agree with CC’s decision to enter the rehab now rather than after the playoffs, even if it was just one game.

My entire life I grew up with and around drugs. I’ve heard stories, although it’s adamantly denied by my mother, that my mother did heroine while she was pregnant with me. I’ve heard stories that I was left on street corners in the Bronx or with vendors or shop owners so my parents could go down the road and score some drugs.  I’ve heard stories that would make you cry and that’s just what I’ve heard, that doesn’t count everything I’ve lived through and actually remember. The nights being woken up to my father vomiting and choking on his vomit and me having to turn him over to save his life because he was too high to wake up. The night where my mother left my father because she gave him the ultimatum to pick her or heroin and he looked her in the eyes and told her he loved her, he was sorry and that they were through. The weekends lost, because I got taken away from both parents, because my father was too high to take care of me and my mother had moved down to Georgia to escape it all.

Why I understand CC’s urgency and commitment to search out rehab and search out rehab now is my own struggle with my father. My father was the type of drug addict to blow his entire paycheck either Friday night or Saturday morning and would spend the weekend high before coming down around midnight Sunday. Almost every Sunday night or Monday morning I would get the “I’m sorry” speech or the “I’m going to do better” phone call and every time I would recommend a drug rehab. Every time it was some excuse, I can’t get off work. I don’t have a reliable vehicle right now. I’m too busy. His intentions were good on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and even Wednesday but by Thursday the addiction and the thirst took control back.

If my father had went to any of the rehab’s he swore that he would go to he may be sitting here reading this today and using it as a testament to getting healthy, clean and sober. He’s gone, I was 10-years old. My father, like CC to his children, is far more important than one more week of work, a reliable vehicle or something else that was “more important.” When you admit you have a problem and put a plan in motion to fix this issue then you do it, regardless of what you feel is important. Alcoholism and drug use is a deadly and nasty disease and it will kill you on a long enough timeline so I commend and admire CC for making the right decision as a person, as a father and as a husband. Get well soon CC!


  1. Daniel, you have more guts than I do!

    Very well done!

    1. I meant I wouldn't have been able to handle a father or anyone else in the family with a problem like that. It takes something I don't have to be able to handle your father and yourself.
      Everywhere I looked there was a drunk or dope head, in the Kitchen! I guess I developed a brain lock when it came to anything I thought was a weakness...and Drugs along with Drinking was at the top of my list. Again, nobody knew drinking was a disease back then.

      At the age of 10 /12 I was the head of the household for almost three years. My mom died of TB and my dad never made it home from the war. So I took care of 5 sisters until one day the cops came by the condemned house in "The Kitchen" we lived in took us all to be adopted out. Except me, I was sent to a military school because I was not a very nice guy.

      There is very little in this world that I can't handle but, someone that is one of them. One that is hurt, no problem...sick not to good.

      That is why I thought it took guts to...just do...what had to be done. Sometimes that is the hardest thing to do.

    2. I agree Reed. growing up is tough for some, hopefully my kids never have to deal with half of what I had to. I can see where your patience and overall character came from now. It looks like we've led similar childhoods with the exception of the military. I stuck to school and the books... and here I am now.

  2. DANIEL...Have just read your words regarding your father, and your youth.
    Had to sit awhile to collect my thoughts. Finding words that fit, are not coming easy.

    You wanted to write those words. I could sense it at as you went on to explain.
    One needs to let the hidden memories out. Like a infected boil, it must be lanced. ( finding it hard to select words that fit )

    And tonight I find that Ken, also went down a crappy road. He just happens to address it differently.
    That would be the age thing....he being older at the time.

    For either of you to navigate those times, and survive....and become fine men, is utterly
    against the odds.
    Weaker individuals would have followed the path, of those that past on.

    I can not write about a game tonight. In respect to the both of you.
    God watched out over both of you.

    1. Thank you Patrick,
      Give the kudos to Daniel, after his story of how he handled things...I don't know but, it seems to me bad things make one stronger. He is living proof of that, and his own family means more to him then one can guess...from the way he talks about his relationship with them, it must feel great!

      Ok, back to baseball!

    2. I agree patrick, sometimes you have to tell the stories you don't want to tell. it's been so long, and I hate to say this, I think I've become numb to it all. I don't remember much of my father anymore and that makes me feel like a terrible person but I can't help it. Therefore I no longer cry for him, again terrible person.

      But anyway, this is why I hate the "product of my environment" arguments or "that's how I was brought up" excuses. They are invalid if you make them invalid.

    3. I have never excepted such arguments as excuses, in fact, I don't except excuses at all.
      There are reasons, but NO excuse for anything one does.

      We both went to college, you graduated, I was kicked out. I was in R.O.T.C so I went into the Army and was supposed to become an Officer and Gentleman, no news to them they missed the second part.

      All of that made me a tearable Father...right? No, doing my job and never being home did that. My decision my fault...but the kids turned out better than I ever thought they would. They had to, they had me for a father and a mother that was a strong-willed first wife!

      You, Daniel, have a good wife and family...hold them close.

      I have come to the conclusion, of story-telling, History is something one can learn a lot from but, my history is all old hat and is just that...history! Back to baseball!


Sorry for the Capatcha... Blame the Russians :)