Wednesday, December 30, 2015

New Years Resolutions for the New York Yankees

Before the Christmas holiday we brought you some fictional lists that the New York Yankees players wrote to Santa Claus and today we will bring you some equally as fictional New Year's resolutions written down by those same Yankees. Now as we all know many people do not keep to their New Year's resolutions but my way of thinking is who cares? Nobody like a skinny, rich and good person anyway. I'm just going to be me, but anyway without further delay and banter from me here are the Yankees resolutions.

Alex Rodriguez:

To win a World Series Championship. That's my resolution every single season. I'm just so blessed to play in front of the best fans in the world and I just want to thank Joe (Girardi) and the entire Steinbrenner family. This time last year I did not think I would be in this position and I'm truly humbled and blessed.

Mark Teixeira:

To add gluten back into my diet and have the biggest contract season I can have. Not many people want a 35-year old first baseman any more so I'm going to have to go out and do my best early and often.

Greg Bird:

Yeah, go ahead and add that gluten back. My resolution was to do something about those eye brows but now it's to get in playing shape because I'm going to see you all before June.

Hal Steinbrenner:

To give Brian Cashman full control to do his job now that I've completely cut the cash flow from the team. If you thought the calls for his firing were loud before....

Brian Cashman:

Now you tricked me last time into telling the truth but this time I don't care. I'm trading all his high-priced talent HE signed so I can do things my way. 2016 season be damned.

Brian McCann:

To not scream obscenities in the Yankees dugout during the playoffs anymore.

Starlin Castro:

To make you all say "Robinson Cano who?"

Brendan Ryan:

Bring me back Cash!

1 comment:

  1. A-Rod--BS and get that front leg down quicker.
    Tex--Of course it is money in the bank!
    Bird--We sure hope so.
    Hal--Good move, letting your GM hanging in the wind.
    McCann--so what is wrong with that?
    Castro--ok, show me!
    Didi--keep on keeping on!
    Headly--it's all in my head...get a new one!
    Ellsbury--When your legs go, you go!
    Brett--You will steal more in the #9 spot.
    Beltran--I'm not old either, the world is younger!
    Ackley--You my get in some games yet.
    Starlin Castro--#2 spot is yours, you better be good or Refsy will be there.
    Hicks--Good luck pal, you hope they trade Brett.
    Slade--you are a better OF than Ackley!
    Ryan--not in this lifetime Pal!
    Chapman--Closer or #8/9 man?
    Tank--I'm good to go, right?
    Pieda--My shoulder if in fine shape!
    Severino--show the team what you are made of!
    Nova--Get it all back, good luck.
    Evo--How is your sinker? Pitch like the 2nd half!
    CC--hope you have a new attatude, big guy!


Sorry for the Capatcha... Blame the Russians :)